Dr. BethAnne Kapansky Wright

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Darkness Is Magic Too

People often say, “let it go, move forwards, it’s time to put the past behind you, all we have is now.” 

But it is my observation this can be hard to do when the past continues to creep into our “now” like vines of ivy stealthily twining themselves around the present moment if we aren’t vigilant about trimming them back.

Layers of grief, trauma, and ancient history from previous heart cycles and incarnations of self like to burrow into the recesses of our psyche.

Rising up and making themselves known when our sediment gets stirred up and we notice ourselves saying—Oh, no. Here you are again. I thought I released you many moons ago.

I am learning- as I follow the way of the heart and seek to create my most joyful life - that finding healing, release, and emotional freedom from the things we’ve previously experienced and endured is never black and white but a spectrum of psychological colors.

The truth is that releasing the past is a lifelong journey. It is a continual process of unbecoming who we no longer are, so we can become our most authentic expression of self.

It is a process without clear finish lines, chapter endings, or on-off switches since the nature of life is not linear but spiral.

The nature of our psyche and soul ebbs and flows in endless tidepools to support the whole of our eco-system. Endings and beginnings end and begin in ongoing ripples of sea-salt and waves.

Like overlapping circles, the waters of who we are, how we were raised, what we’ve experienced, and our understanding of our individual journey can overlap unexpectedly, washing into, intersecting – and at times interfering - with our intention to live in the present with more peace, freedom, and ease.

You can knit yourself into a new being and still find old material woven through the threads of your tapestry, which require your tending and mending.

You can reinvent yourself with faith and fortitude and discover less faithful aspects of your being that are in need of your healing attention.

You can open your heart and allow your light to shine like glorious azure skies and pyrite sunlight– and still find yourself entreating with the depths of your own shadow, who has much to teach you when you make space to listen.

To be human is to be in both shadow and light.

To know ourselves whole is to understand both shadow and light.

To free ourselves into greater expressions of love is to work with both shadow and light.

And I’m coming to live the truth that releasing the past, finding emotional freedom, and moving towards wholeness is not predicated on clearing everything out and turning ourselves and our lives into clean, new space.

It is a matter of choice to keep turning our attention to the new space we are trying to create and working with the ingredients of the past and the present to heal, inform and transform our future.

Go gently on yourself if you’ve been trying to reach for happier hopes and still feel sucked into the sticky quicksand of times gone by.

Find grace for your process if you thought you put it behind you only to find it sitting in the heart of your psyche’s living room, forcing you to examine it and find a way to clear the space.

Be blessed in your spirit, knowing that all of this is part of your spiritual journey and is not a reflection of your worth, value, integrity, or inherent goodness.

Because how else do we think we are going to experience maximum soul growth if not for the gifts that eventually come from the depths of our shadows?

Always remember—

Personal transformation is magic too. Darkness is magic too. Sorrow is magic too. Mud is magic too.

Even now, even you, in the entirety of this moment where past and present are interweaving and intervening to manifest the most authentic creation of you—

You are magic too.

You are a soulful, celestial being on a terribly beautiful and difficult terrestrial journey of becoming.

And you are doing a damn fine job.    


If you enjoyed these words of wisdom you might also enjoy It Begins In You or Golden: Savor The Struggle.

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Be love. Be well. Be you. Be magic.